Remember your heart
by ArinnaVal
Summary: Jess came back in town after year of absence. Can Rory forgive him? AU Literati - takes place after Season 4 episode 12 - A Family Matter.
1. Chapter 1 Welcome back Mariano

_**A/N: My new Literati fic takes place after Season 4 episode **__**12 - A Family Matter**__**. But I changed few things. Jess came back in Stars Hollow after year of absence. He and Rory met again in the night when he spent in his car before his uncle diner. In my fic Lorelai is single and Rory just started her first year in the college. What would happen if they actually had a chance to fix things between them? What choices Rory would make if Jess was a factor in her life? What if Jess hadn't ran? Read and you'll see.**_

_**As a special note I would add – my first language is not English. Please excuse my grammar here and there. Review if you like and please – enjoy the story. I really hope my Literati muse came back. I missed writing for these two.**_

_**Yours,**_

_**ArinnaVal**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**Chapter 1 Welcome back Mariano**_

Strange things happened when you thought you put everything bad behind you. Rory Gilmore made the same mistake in her life. Just when she thought that, everything was forgotten. Just when she thought, Jess Mariano was out of her heart and her life once and for all. He never called back. Not even once and she got tired of thinking of him. It was hurting so bad that she barely survived. Therefore, Rory just cut her hair and started over. New college. New friends and new life. Her mother was proud of her. Everybody were proud of her.

Then she decided to pay her mom a visit. Lorelai was thrilled. Oh and her grandparents as well. So Rory has to pass through the official dinner with Richard and Emily to get to the part of the night, she liked the most. Her movie nights with her mom. So they were joking around on their way back home. Their way passed beside Luke's Diner.

Just then, Rory saw something taking her smile away. She noticed a familiar car parked across the street. Her heart pounded when she slowly walked toward it. Lorelai followed her, keep babbling about something they joked before. But somehow, Rory had lost her hearing right now. She stood close enough to see Jess asleep in the backseat. He was like a ghost from the past, came haunting her.

"I don't believe this." Rory stared at the sleeping man in the car. Her heart betrayed her again and she could feel the well-known butterflies in her stomach. Jess.

"Um, is that - ?" Lorelai touched her shoulder.

"Yes." Rory barely nodded, keep staring at the man in the car.

"Oh." Her mother followed her look.

"I don't believe this." Rory just lowered her voice.

"What is he doing here?"

"What is he doing - there?" Rory looked at her mother and then back at the car. Lorelay just shrugged.

"Asleep in his car - is he living in it?"

"I don't see stuff."

"Does Luke know he's here?" Lorelai looked at the Diner and then back at Jess' car.

"Well, I know what you know." Rory just frowned and her mother looked at her with disbelief.

"He - may not know."

"Well, it's right in front of his place. How could he not know?" Rory tilted her head and looked back at her mother. She was careful with her facial expression. Lorelai didn't have to know how much Jess still meant to her. Rory hated that feeling, but she knew it was there.

"Well, it's freezing out here. He could die, he must not know." Lorelai looked at her daughter closely. But Rory shrugged again like she didn't care at all.

"Or doesn't care."

"Do you think David Blain put him up to this?"

"Why is he here? I mean, why did he come back?" Rory bit her lower lip, trying to control her voice.

"Light's still on in there, Luke's in there somewhere - should we go talk to him?" Lorelai kept looking at the Diner. Her daughter shifted uncomfortable.

"No. It's too weird." She shivered. "And it's - weird."

"Definitely weird." Lorelai finally looked at her and Rory put on her blank face.

"Well, I'll just see you at home. I'm - cause I don't want to deal with this. I'll see you at home." She quickly walked off, while Lorelai paused a moment before walking to Luke's diner door.

Rory stopped and turned around just to see how her mom walked in the Diner. She put her hands in the pockets of her warm coat and just stood there. It was like her feet had glued to the ground. She just stared to the car, parked there. She couldn't see his face now, but she knew he was real and he was back in her life. The saddest part was, she missed him. No matter how he hurt her. No matter how bad he was and how bad he could be, Rory still cared about him.

"It's not love." She whispered to herself, shaking her head furiously. "I don't love him!" Rory stirred and turned around to leave. Maybe if she repeated the words long enough she would believe in herself.

When he mother came back home, Rory was in the living room studying. It was strange how she could still concentrate over her books. Lorelai entered through the front door shivering. Rory looked at her over her book.

"Hey."

"Hey. So, do you want an update?" Lorelai hooked her coat in the small cupboard they had at the corridor. She walked in the living room and sat on the couch, close to her daughter.

"I guess." Rory shrugged and put the book down.

"Well, the whole thing - the mystery woman from this morning? Jess' mom."

"Whoa." Rory furrowed her brows.

"Still a mystery though. Luke's not quite sure what she's up to." Lorelai looked at her daughter carefully.

"She came with Jess?" Rory was careful to control her voice, knowing her mom could read her like an open book.

"She called him or something. It's very confusing. Luke was not in an expansive story telling mood. All he knows is that Jess said he came for his car and he's not leaving without it."

"Okay."

"Yeah. Which means he might be here part of the day tomorrow, so uh, "Danger, Will Robinson." Rory rolled her eyes with her mother's last words.

"I can live with it, really."

"That's what I told Luke." Lorelai nodded.

"Good."

"Okay. So, I'm going to go upstairs, get warm - Good night." Lorelai yawned and stretched out. Rory just smiled and closed her study folder, kissing Lorelai's cheek.

"Well, goodnight mom."

"Good night angel." Lorelai almost ran upstairs and Rory leaned back on the couch. The books and her study folder were spread across the table. She sighed and gathered her hair, looking at the window.

Before she could realize what she was doing, Rory grabbed her coat and walked out in the chilly night. Her feet led her back to Luke's Diner. Jess' car was still there. So it was real. Everything was real. He wasn't just a fruit of her imagination and her mother was right.

Just then, the door of Jess' car opened and he got out heading straight for the diner. Rory just stood there, unable to move. She was close but out of his sight and she was thankful for it. Her eyes narrowed when he knelt before the front door, searching the key under he rogue. Rory heard him curse when he finally found it, but it slipped out from his hands.

"Damn it!" Jess murmured, but she was close enough to hear him. Still he had not noticed her yet.

Maybe that was for the best, but just then, his eyes stopped on her. They both stood there, staring at each other. No one of them was able to move. Too many things had happened between them. Too many words had left unspoken. But they stood there, just watching at each other. No one said a word. No one made a move. It took a long moment before Rory could finally open her mouth. However, before she could even say a word, Jess unlocked the Diner and rushed in, slamming the door behind his back.

Rory just shook her head. No, she wasn't happy to see him. She didn't love him and she wasn't hurt. She wasn't, right? Maybe if she kept saying that to herself she would finally believe it. With a final look to the Diner, Rory turned around and headed back home. Jess would've been gone by the next morning and she could breathe again. She had to.


	2. Chapter 2 He'll be gone soon

_**A/N: My new Literati fic takes place after Season 4 episode **__**12 - A Family Matter**__**. But I changed few things. Jess came back in Stars Hollow after year of absence. He and Rory met again in the night when he spent in his car before his uncle diner. In my fic Lorelai is single and Rory just started her first year in the college. What would happen if they actually had a chance to fix things between them? What choices Rory would make if Jess was a factor in her life? What if Jess hadn't ran? Read and you'll see.**_

_**As a special note I would add – my first language is not English. Please excuse my grammar here and there. Review if you like and please – enjoy the story. I really hope my Literati muse came back. I missed writing for these two.**_

_**Yours,**_

_**ArinnaVal**_

* * *

_**Chapter 2 He'll be gone soon  
**_

On the next morning, Lorelai came down the stairs into the living room. She zipped up the extra cardigan she was wearing on top of her pajamas

"Cold, cold, cold, cold ! Icy feet, stupid frozen-tundra house! Oh." Lorelai murmured, picking up a shawl and wrapping herself in it. She could see Rory sleeping on the couch, bundled in blankets. A slight frown crossed her face. "Honey, why are you sleeping in here? Your room is way warmer." She turned up the thermostat and went into the kitchen. Okay, here's the question for today, kids. What the hell are the Eskimos thinking? I mean, yes, the hoods are cute, but it's always cold. Always! Plus you have to eat fish for breakfast and you have to eat whales and then polar bears and penguins and Santa Claus..." She came back from the kitchen, towards the couch and sat on the sleeping figure" Okay, coffee's on, Pop-Tarts are pop-tarting! If you're just going to lie there, I'm going to have to sit here. I'm going to make myself very comfortable on a nice, warm Rory!"

"Agh, mom!" Rory groaned and pushed her mom away.

"Ahh!" Lorelai almost fell on the ground.

"Why is it so cold in here?" Rory sat on the couch and tied the belt of her cardigan.

"I broke that stupid window trying to lock it last night." Lorelai murmured, heading off to the kitchen. Rory followed her closely, still yawning.

"Well, get it fixed, woman." She fell on the nearest chair, staring at her mother.

"I left Luke a message just now. He'll do it." Lorelai grinned.

"Before or after the re-enactment of _Alive_?" Rory furrowed her brows.

"Hopefully before."

"Why don't you call a guy?"

"What guy?"

"A window fixing guy."

"Ah, Luke always gets mad when I pay someone to do something that he could do for free. And then he lectures me about it every time I see him and it's annoying. "Oh, you paid him how much to fix the window? What, you couldn't just find someone to steal your purse that day? Hey, while you're at it I've got an idea, why don't you go down to a Versateller and let them charge you five bucks to take your own money out of the bank? Or buy some tickets at Ticketmaster and wind up paying more in service charges than it would cost you to see the band? Oh, here's a great fifty buck mark up on a bottle of wine that it would have cost you ten dollars in the supermarket you're missing!"

"Oh young love..." Rory batted her eyelashes, mocking with her mom.

"Shut up!" Lorelai blushed furiously and Rory burst into laugh.

"But this is funny, mom."

"It's not funny, my young padawan!" Lorelai coughed and looked at her. "So..."

"So... what?" Rory looked at her with confusion.

"Just wondering what you're thinking about." Lorelai handed her a cup of coffee.

"I'm thinking about nothing." Rory wrapped her hands around the steaming cup and stared in her coffee. She knew very well what her mom meant.

"Nothing wouldn't happen to wear a leather jacket and be able to pull off an extremely convincing _"Adrian!"_ would it?" Lorelai watched her closely.

"No, it wouldn't. You think he froze to death?" Rory tried to sound convincing. Of course she didn't care about Jess.

"No, He wasn't sleeping here."

"Right." Rory sipped her coffee and looked away, knowing very well her mom knew about her last night visit to Jess.

"I'm sure Luke took care of it." Lorelai mumbled and sipped her own coffee. She coughed and looked at the broken window. "This thing needs fixing." She put down her coffee mug and grabbed the plastic, laying over the table. Lorelai tapped plastic wrap over the hole in the window with pink Barbie doll Band-aids. "Okay, now. Hold it. Oh, okay, how does it look?"

"Festive and femme." Rory chuckled and hid in her room for a moment, coming back few minutes later wearing her brown coat.

"Come over here and help me." Lorelai looked at her daughter finishing up her coffee and fixing her short brown hair.

"I'm not going to help you Barbie Band-aid our window. I will, however, help you to call one of the many extremely qualified window repairmen that I've circled for you in the phone book." Rory walked to the corridor and nodded at the phone.

"Hey, if we fix the window before Luke comes over, he will have his feelings hurt. Do you want that?" Lorelai followed her closely.

"Phone book's on the kitchen table." Rory grabbed her bag and opened the front door.

"Where are you going?" Her mother looked at her with confusion.

"I'm going to take a walk, get a Danish, hit the bookstore, and I'll be back for lunch." She leaned and kissed her mom's cheek.

"Okay."

"Bye mom." Rory waved and closed the door behind her back, heading to the town.

Her growling stomach made her to rush straight to _Weston's Bakery. _She didn't went to Luke's on purpose. Just wanted to avoid a possible meeting with Jess, although she was sure he was already out of the town. The bell rang joyfully when she walked in the Bakery._  
_

"Hi, I'd like a large coffee and a cherry Danish, please." She rummaged into her bag, searching for her purse and smiled when she finally found it. She payed and an employee handed her a paper cup. She walked over to the coffee pots and her look fell on... Jess sitting at a nearby table. They starred at each other for a few seconds and just like the night before once Rory opened her mouth to say something, Jess was ready to leave.

"I'm leaving." He scowled and grabbed his coat, walks out almost running. Rory looked down at her food suddenly not that hungry. But she had payed for it so she sat on the near table, glaring the Danish.

"Careful! I've heard the Danishes here are dangerous!" Lorelai's voice almost made her jump off her chair.

"Mom!" She looked who was beside of her mother and sighed. "Babette."

"Yup." Lorelai grinned. "I followed you right after you ran out home!"

"And met me on the street." Babette nodded and they both sat on Rory's table.

"And I thought:_ "Hey, today is the perfect day to catch up with Babette."_" Lorelai kept babbling and Rory thew a look to the window.

"Oh, yeah, the perfect day." She murmured.

"So, you kids going to the Firelight Festival tonight?" Babbete took her attention again.

"You bet." Rory forced a smile.

"We're going to be late though because we have to make a pit stop at one of my mother's charity events." Lorelai grabbed Rory's half eaten Danish, but dropped it in a moment her daughter looked at her. "Why? I'm hungry!"

"Get yourself a Danish and leave mine alone!" Rory shook her head and looked back at Babbete. "I'm sure the festival would be epic!"

"Well, the festival should be quite a shindig. Just watching Kirk trying to get those stars hung was worth the price of admission. You know, he insisted on demonstrating the correct way to hang 'em and treed himself. It took the fire department and two cans of tuna to get him down." Babbete smiled.

"I hate that I missed that." Rory smiled back, but she knew how Babbete's brain work and it wasn't surprised from her next words.

"Plus, the whole town is buzzing about Jess coming back. Stupid little pisher, trying to sneak out of town without anyone knowing. This town, what is he kidding? Oh, I'm so sorry, sugar. Here I am, going on and on about Jess."

"It's fine, Babette. I'm fine." Rory forced a smile and looked to the window again.

"She's fine." Lorelai coughed.

"You sure?" Babbete was too curious not to ask that.

"Yes. I'm sure." Rory nodded.

"She's fine." Her mother patted her shoulder.

"I saw him." Rory shrugged, trying to sound as normal as she could. "Last night."

"Who?" Lorelai blinked.

"Jess?" Babbete got even more curious.

"Yes."

"He almost bumped on us on his way outta here!" Lorelai frowned. "Wait! Did you see him here? Did you two meet?"

"Kinda." Rory shrugged again. "I went in, he saw me and he left."

"No!" Babbete almost yelled and bunch of customers turned around to look at her.

"He said nothing?" Lorelai looked at her daughter.

"No, he said something." Rory lowered her look. "He said, "_I'm leaving_. It was so weird. I mean, he's the one who left town. He's the one who didn't call and now he just gets up and walks out like he's mad."

"What does he have to be mad about?" Lorelai scoffed. "The boy broke your heart, not the other way around!"

"Exactly! I should be mad. It's my town. I should be the one to walk out in a huff." Rory couldn't resist on the emotions, flowing from her heart. The anger in her voice was mixed with the sadness and both Babbete and Lorelai saw that.

"You still stuck on him, honey?" Babbete looked at her sympathetically.

"No, I'm not." But Rory's answer was way too quick."I just wasn't expecting him to come back, that's all." She finished, blushing.

"He'll be gone soon, honey." Lorelai rubbed her daughter's back.

"Yeah, I know. He'll be gone soon." Her daughter flashed another fake smile. Her heart was aching right now and she was mad. She was mad that she still cared for him way too much. Rory looked to the window of the Bakery again and this time she saw Jess reading a book, sitting on a bench opposite the street. But the book was turned upside down. "He'll be gone soon." Rory whispered, still looking at him.

* * *

**_P.S I'm sorry for the late update, but I hope you like it. This is my interpretation of what would've happened if Jess had stayed little longer. :p Well maybe for permanent? You'll see what's gonna happen later on that fic. I have it in my mind and I only have to sit down and write it._**

**_Arinna  
_**


	3. Chapter 3 I love you

_**A/N: My new Literati fic takes place after Season 4 episode **__**12 - A Family Matter**__**. But I changed few things. Jess came back in Stars Hollow after year of absence. He and Rory met again in the night when he spent in his car before his uncle diner. In my fic Lorelai is single and Rory just started her first year in the college. What would happen if they actually had a chance to fix things between them? What choices Rory would make if Jess was a factor in her life? What if Jess hadn't ran? Read and you'll see.**_

_**As a special note I would add – my first language is not English. Please excuse my grammar here and there. Review if you like and please – enjoy the story. I really hope my Literati muse came back. I missed writing for these two.**_

_**Yours,**_

_**ArinnaVal**_

* * *

_**Chapter 3 I love you  
**_

When they finished with their meal at the Bakery, Rory waved at her mother for goodbye and headed straight to the Bookstore. She wanted to take something easy to read, something that could distract her. On her way to there, she met Kirk, who was trying to take back his walkie-talkie. Rory laughed when she watched how few kids were passing it around while Kirk was trying to catch it. She watched the scene for a while and then walked in the Bookstore.

"Hey, Andrew." She greeted the young man, behind the desk. "Can you track these down for me? They're all out of print."

"You got it." He nodded.

"Thanks." Rory smiled and went to look at the new books. They were usually on the second row from the door. Just as she found the book she was looking for and was about to leave, her look fell on Jess. He was sitting down against the wall reading.

When their eyes met, he put the book down, got up and left the place. Rory sighed, watching the empty space where he was sitting just few seconds ago. She stood there motionless at first, just staring at that place. The pain in her heart was still there, but she had to move on. She paid for the books and left the place.

Later that evening, they arrived at Emily and Richard's charity evening. Rory and Lorelai didn't like it much, but they had to be there. Emily insisted and they had no choice but to be there.

They got late for the event and when walked in there, Lorelai started looking around. It was full of people. Fancy people. Snobs, she didn't like and was sure her daughter felt the same.

"I think we're late." Rory murmured.

"We're not late." Lorelai looked at her with a wink. "I'm saying we can still sneak out."

"Grandma said dinner starts at six."

"Yeah, well that means seven. Ror, really... we can go if you want to!"

"Mom, you know we can't do it!"

"You know we can, please?" Lorelai batted eyelashes to her and Rory laughed. "Actually we're early." She continued, but then her look fell on the rushing to them Emily. "Oh, there they are. Hey. Hi Mom. Oh, that's a bad face."

"Told you we were late." Rory mumbled.

"What is Rory doing here?" Emily furrowed her brows.

"Hi, Grandma."

"You weren't supposed to bring Rory. You don't know one man that would be willing to spend the evening with you?" Emily stared at her daughter and Lorelai sighed.

"Mom, please!"

"Honestly, Lorelai. It's not your looks that keep them away. Think about that."

"Excuse me, should I stay, or-?" Rory tried to help her mom, but Emily interrupted her.

"Of course you should stay. We can't do anything about that now. Come on, come on..."

"I do have a boyfriend, Emily!" Lorelai murmured as they passed beside Emily. "His name is Luke and try to remember that!"

"I was talking about a real boyfriend, Lorelai." Emily led them to the table.

"Luke is my real boyfriend, mother!"

"You need someone like you, not that-"

"Ok, time out!" Rory interrupted her grandmother. She knew this wouldn't lead to anything good. Lorelai and Emily had this argument ever since Lorelai had declared her relationship with Luke. Emily just couldn't accept him.

"Rory, what are you doing here?" Richard, her grandfather met them at their table and Rory smiled with relief.

"Lorelai couldn't find a man." Emily waved hand and Rory frowned.

"You weren't specific, Mom. You didn't say, "Bring your man." Lorelai answered her mother.

"And if I had, you would have been able to find one? Rory, sit over there. Marjorie, Shawna, this is my daughter Lorelai and her daughter Rory. This is Marjorie and Shawna…"

Rory placed a smile on her lips while she was introduced to Emily's friends. Lorelai did the same and they sat on the table, Emily had prepared to them.

It wasn't even the middle of the evening when Lorelai hid a yawn behind her hand. She looked over at Rory who was trying to be polite with the guests. Lorelai just sighed and stared at her plate. She wasn't in the mood to be polite. If she had to be honest, she didn't even want to be here. Just as she opened her mouth to say Rory she was leaving, the speaker began his speech.

"The importance cannot be overstated. Language is humanity's lifeline. That is why I thank each and every one of you for your loyal support of the Ephram Wordus Rare Manuscript Acquisition Foundation. Because without it, we would just be stuck rooting around Nag Hammadi."

The guests laugh, but Lorelai nudged her daughter and she looked over at her mom.

"What mom?"

"Psst! I don't get it." Lorelai whispered.

"Me neither." Rory shrugged.

"You go to Yale." Lorelai pursed her lips and lean hands on the table. "You have to be smart enough to know."

"Well, I skipped Obscure Manuscript Humor 101." Rory looked at her mother carefully. "What are you doing?" She asked her when Lorelai got off her chair.

"I'm leaving."

"To go and see Luke?" Rory furrowed her brows.

"It's not funny!"

"I'm not laughing!"

"You're laughing on the inside, sweets!"

Rory shook her head in the moment everybody started clapping. She nodded at the Exit and Lorelai grinned. They sneaked out from the party, giggling and headed out to Firelight Festival in Stars Hollow.

"Gone for the rest of the night. W're stuck with the rolling pins. God! So boring!" Lorelai looked around, clearly looking for Luke.

"I am starving." Rory nudged her mother. "I didn't have time to eat there."

"What? The possibly beef and some sort of cream sauce did nothing to curb your appetite?" Lorelai chuckled.

"Do you want to start with burgers or do a cart-to-cart attack?" Rory laughed with her.

"Well, there's two of us. I think we can accomplish both goals. But… I have something other in mind."

"Mom, I'm going to get the burgers, you hit the carts." Rory stick out her tongue. "Then you can hit on Luke."

"I'll meet you by the bonfire." Lorelai rolled her eyes and headed down the street.

Rory sighed, looking after her mom. She shook her head and headed over to the burgers place. She stood by the end of the line of people there, when something got her attention. She saw Jess got in his car little further on the street. Rory frowned and was about to leave when he got out again, holding an envelope in his hand and looking all angry. His steps led him to her and she just stood there, unable to move. Jess stopped when he saw her standing in line for burgers. They stared at each other for a few seconds. Rory blinked and all of a sudden her whole anger and frustration came on the surface. She clenched her fists.

"I get to leave first!" Rory spat the last word and turn her back to him, completely forgetting the burgers she was about to buy. She just wanted to get out of there; to run like he he did.

"Rory, wait! Stop!" She could hear him calling after her, but that only made her run faster. "Rory!"

"No, you don't get to walk away!" She looked over her shoulder just to see him running after her.

"Hold on!"

"My town! I leave!"

"I just wanna-where are you going?" Jess called her once again.

"None of your business!" She snapped and kept running.

"Stop!" He finally caught her arm and forced her to stop and look at him. "We look like idiots."

"I don't care!" Rory glared at him, releasing her am with a jerk move.

"When did you learn to run like that?" He shoved his free hand in his pocket. She could see the envelope in his other arm. His hair was messy and his usually pale face now looked all red, because of the cold weather. A sudden need to go and fix his hair, like she used to, made her frown again and she glared at him.

"You know, I've thought about this moment. A lot. What would Jess say to me I ever saw him again? He just ran away! No note, no call, nothing, how could he explain that? And then a year goes by and still no word, nothing, so he couldn't possibly have a good excuse for that, right? I have imagined hundreds of different scenarios with a hundred different great last parting lines, and I have to tell you that I am actually very curious to see which way this is going to go."

"Could we sit down?" Jess lowered his voice.

"No. You wanted to talk, so talk. What do you have to say to me?" She looked at him coyly.

"I love you." He said after a long pause. That was the last thing she had expected to hear from him. "I-I'm sorry, I have to go!" Jess shook his head and turned around to leave. "I just wanted to know that and now I'm outta here! Bye!"

"No way!" Rory grabbed his arm and forced him to turn around again and face her. "You can't just say these words and leave like that!"

"But-"

"No!" She frowned. "Now _you _have to listen to me! You owe me this!"


	4. Chapter 4 It's too late

_**A/N: My new Literati fic takes place after Season 4 episode **__**12 - A Family Matter**__**. But I changed few things. Jess came back in Stars Hollow after year of absence. He and Rory met again in the night when he spent in his car before his uncle diner. In my fic Lorelai is single and Rory just started her first year in the college. What would happen if they actually had a chance to fix things between them? What choices Rory would make if Jess was a factor in her life? What if Jess hadn't ran? Read and you'll see.**_

_**As a special note I would add – my first language is not English. Please excuse my grammar here and there. Review if you like and please – enjoy the story. I really hope my Literati muse came back. I missed writing for these two.**_

_**Yours,**_

_**ArinnaVal**_

* * *

_**Chapter 4 It's too late  
**_

Jess stared at her hand on his arm. Then he looked at her face and could've seen the anger in her beautiful blue eyes. Rory was furious and he had never seen her like this. If he had to be honest, he had expected a reaction. However, not like this. It was too much even for her. He released his arm with a jerk move and glared at her. Her anger provoked his and he frowned. But he stayed there, waiting. Her breathing was erratic. Her lips were parted and he couldn't help but look there. Then he wanted to kiss her. His old feelings were back with full force. And when he had told her he loved her, he was honest. It happened for the first time in his life. Jess just had poured his heart to her, but he had not forgotten what he almost did to her, the last time they were together.

"Why?" Rory whispered, but Jess thought she was about to scream. He hadn't surprised of the control she had over her emotions. She always had it.

"Why what?" He blinked.

"Why you left me? Why?"

"I wasn't good for you." He mumbled. "I needed time."

"Screw you!" She suddenly rushed to him. "Screw you and your words!"

"Rory?" Jess looked at her with surprise.

"Why did you come back?" Her small fists hit his chest, but he just stood there. "Why did you have to come back, Jess? Why?"

"Rory stop!" Jess tried to catch her wrists, but somehow he couldn't do that.

"You ruined everything!" She kept punching his chest and now she was crying. "I thought you were out of my life! I was about to forget you!"

"Rory!" He finally caught her fists, forcing her to look him in the eyes. "I just wanted you to know that." He hissed. "I wanted you to know that I love you, ok? That's it and I'm gonna leave you alone now. You're going to have your chance to forget me, ok? I'm going and I won't come back. I promise."

"Too late, you idiot!" She tried to pull back, but somehow he could not let her go. His grasp on her wrists only tightened. "Jess!"

"Why's too late?"

"Jess, let me go now!"

"Why is too late, Rory?"

"Figure it out yourself you smart ass!" She snapped and tried to release herself. No such luck. "Jess!"

"No, I want you to say it! Just say it one fucking time, alright? Be honest to yourself, just once!"

"I hate you!" Rory scoffed and her eyes stared at him with anger. "I hate you so bad you have no idea how much!

"No."

"Yes."

"No, you don't!" Jess hissed and pulled her into his chest. He grabbed her face and kissed her furiously.

Rory tried to pull back, but he held her tight. She tried repeatedly until she just gave up. Her hands fisted his jacket and she responded to his kiss. Her whole body shook when she leaned on him fully. He dragged her in the near alley and pressed her to the wall. His lips never left hers. She didn't try to stop him now. Her hands released his jacket and wrapped around his neck, burying into his hair. Her lips were soft against his rough ones.

"Jess…" She whispered leaning her forehead on his when he finally set her free. "Jess, please don't do this."

"What?" His arms slipped around her waist, pulling her close.

"Don't say you love me and then leave like it's nothing." Rory placed a hand on his face, but he pulled back. "Jess…"

"I'm sorry." He shook his head. "I didn't mean… I only wanted… I have to go."

"Jess!"

"I'm sorry, Rory!" He took few steps back towards his car and turned around ready to go.

"You should've done that earlier today, Jess!" Lorelai's voice surprised him and he froze. She was standing on his way to the car.

"Mom?" Rory took few steps closer to him. Jess could hear her coming closer. "What-?"

"I was about to call 911 for you, Rory." Lorelai was furious. Her voice was calm, but Rory knew her well. She hated Jess and now Rory could bet, she hated him even more.

"Jess and I had a little chat." Rory took a step closer to Jess.

"That kind of talk including tongues?" Lorelai furrowed her brows. "In each other mouths?"

"You spied on us?" Jess snapped and his hands clenched in fists. "You have no right, Lorelai!"

"She is my daughter!"

"She's not a baby!"

"She's here!" Rory tried to interrupt them.

"Get out of here! Now! Or I should call the Police?"

"Mom!" Rory almost moaned and stood between them."He's..."

"...leaving!"

"No!" Rory frowned.

"No?" Jess and Lorelai said in one voice, both surprised.

Rory took a deep breath surprised of herself as well. She couldn't believe what she just said. Why the Hell she would want Jess here? She wanted him gone for so long. She had even convinced herself that he meant nothing to her, couldn't hurt her. However, now she was ready to stand up in his defense and in front of her mother. That was the disturbing part.

"I think he can leave if he wants to, but not because you told him to." She looked at her mother. Her eyes slightly narrowed. "He's not a criminal."

"We can argue about that." Lorelai murmured.

"I'm sorry, since when we moved in to Salem?" Rory frowned.

"Rory!"

"Mom!"

"Rory!"

"Mom, why don't you think for a minute?" She frowned. "Maybe he..."

"..just left." Lorelai finished her daughter's sentence. Jess had used the moment to get into his car and drove away. Rory watched his car hid behind the corner with heavy heart. "I'm sorry, honey." Lorelai placed a hand over her shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

"No, you don't." Rory just shook her head. "You never did."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You didn't like him, never did." Rory stepped away from her mother. "Don't pretend you're sorry now."

"I'm sorry he hurt you, Ror." Lorelai frowned. "You know I never wanted that for you."

"I... loved him."

"Rory..."

"I want to be alone." Rory shook her head again and turn her back to Lorelai. "We'll see home."

"Sweets..."

"Bye, mom!" She didn't turn around, walking away from her mother. She had to be alone, to think over things. She had to rebuild herself again. The wall she had around her heart was broken with just one kiss. Rory needed it back. She headed for the only place, she would find peace.

The bridge was the place everything started. Now she had to end it back there. Alone. Like always.

She just stood there, staring at the dark water. Her heart was broken, still bleeding but she had to learn to live again. Rory took a deep breath and turned to leave.

"Rory!" A well-known voice, coming from the shadows made her stop.


	5. Chapter 5 Memories and a kiss

_**A/N: My new Literati fic takes place after Season 4 episode **__**12 - A Family Matter**__**. But I changed few things. Jess came back in Stars Hollow after year of absence. He and Rory met again in the night when he spent in his car before his uncle diner. In my fic Lorelai is single and Rory just started her first year in the college. What would happen if they actually had a chance to fix things between them? What choices Rory would make if Jess was a factor in her life? What if Jess hadn't ran? Read and you'll see.**_

_**As a special note I would add – my first language is not English. Please excuse my grammar here and there. Review if you like and please – enjoy the story. I really hope my Literati muse came back. I missed writing for these two.**_

_**Yours,**_

_**ArinnaVal**_

* * *

_**Chapter 5 Memories and a kiss**_

"Dean?" Rory looked at the tall boy walking to her. A weird feeling grabbed her stomach. "What are you doing here? Where is your wife?"

Dean shrugged and stopped right before her. His eyes were dark and he had shoved his hands in the pockets of his warm jacket. Rory stirred. She didn't like that look, never liked it. That look meant something bad had happened or he was just furious about something. Whatever it was now, Rory did not want to know. It was not her problem anymore. She thought she loved that guy, once. Then she thought she loved him again right before he got married. Then she had realized she loved the idea of him. He was her boyfriend, the first one. She would never forget it, but it was over. Her heart beat for someone else now, someone who wasn't here now. However, Dean was. His eyes had narrowed. His posture was dangerous and Rory took a step back, looking around. But the place was empty.

"My wife fucking cheated on me." Dean spat the last word and Rory stirred. "I gave her everything she wanted, everything!"

"Dean, why don't you calm down?" Rory bit her lower lip. This was not Dean; this was a stranger to her. A furious stranger and she did not know what to expect from him. "I'm sure it's not how it looks like."

"She wanted me to stop seeing you, I've stopped! She wanted me to stop talking to you, I've stopped! She wanted me to do so many thing and I've fucking done everything for her. What the hell she did for me? Cheated!"

"Just calm down, ok?" Rory took a step back. Damn her luck! The place was empty. She licked her lips and looked back at Dean. "I'm sure everything will be alright, Dean. You just have to talk to her. She loves you and-..."

"I've never thought someone loved me more than you." His voice lowered and that made Rory's hear beat faster. She clenched her hands in fists, ready to run. The direction of this conversation didn't make her happy. She frowned, throwing a brief look over her shoulder. If she made another step back, she would've been back in the street. "What are you doing?" Dean's voice made her look back at him.

"I'm trying to keep our "sort of" friendship we have." She did that step back and sighed with relief. There was a fling of disappointment in Dean's eyes when he followed her. "What? We're friends, right? At least I thought we were."

"We are friends, Rory." He stepped closer, but then shook his head and shove his hands into his pockets. "I'm sorry I've scared you. I didn't meant to. I thought we can talk... like before." He sighs and Rory could almost read between the lines. He said before and she was sure he meant the time when they were dating. She kept silence and he coughed nervously. "Can I walk you home? It's dark."

"I'm a big girl, Dean." Rory almost snapped and bit her lip. "I'm sorry, but... ok, I guess you can walk me home."

"Sure." Dean shrugged and they walked in awkward silence to her home. "I've heard Jess is back?" He said when they stopped in front of her porch. "Have you talked to him?"

"Yes." She simply answered, looking away. "Yes, we met."

"I knew it!" Dean scoffed. "I knew he's gonna try and contact with you! He's like a plague! No one can cure from him!"

"Shut up!" Rory clenched her fists. "Just shut up, ok?"

"I told you he's gonna hurt you, Rory! I told you!"

"I told you to shut up, Dean! What happened, or didn't happen between me and Jess is our business!"

"Don't get so defensive damn it! You're still trying to protect him? After everything he's done to you?" His eyes narrowed. "I'm telling you the truth and you just refuse to listen, Rory!"

"Go back to your wife, Dean!" Rory breathed heavily. Her nails almost penetrated her skin in her attempt to stay calm. Her nerves were so tense right now and Dean just didn't realize how close she was to hit him. "Jess is my business! Ok? And he left already! So you can be calm!"

"What?"

"He's gone, Dean! Jess is gone again! Happy now?"

"You still can't forget him, Rory?" He looked at her with disbelief. "After all this time. You still hold onto that love? That's unhealthy, Ror! He's not good for you! When you're going to realize this? He's... something bad and you should be happy you're free of him!"

"Goodbye, Dean!"

"Why don't you listen to me! Why? Damn it! I loved you and we could've had something good if Jess didn't happen! That little son of a bitch!"

Rory gasped. She was ready to cry from anger. He was right of course. Everybody was telling her how bad Jess is for her. Everybody wanted her to see he wouldn't make her happy. She loved him. She loved him with her whole heart. But that was her mistake, her own. No one was responsible for her mistakes. Dean was the last person who could've judged her for this. It was her life and her own. She just turned her back on him, ready to get into the house. Just then she felt his hand wrapped around her arm. Before she was able to react he twirled her to himself and kissed her. She didn't expect that. Her thoughts were in total mess and she wasn't able to do anything at first.

Just then Jess' face flashed before her eyes. The memory of his lips over hers earlier today forced her to wake up. She pulled back from Dean, looking angry. Then she slapped him and her hand left red marks over his cheek. Her eyes narrowed and she brushed her lips furiously as if she wanted to delete the memory of that kiss. Dean looked at her with confusion and anger in his eyes.

''I'm not your wife, Dean!" She snapped.

"I-" He was about to answer her when they heard a door opening. Both looked at the house and saw Luke there. He walked out from the house and turned around to look at Lorelai.

"I'll call you from the hospital, ok? I don't know how bad he is. They just told me he's alive." Luke's voice made Rory's blood run cold. "They didn't give me any details. Only, he's alive."

"I'll wait for the call, Luke." Lorelai wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Everything will be ok, you'll see. Jess is a strong boy!"

"Jess?" Rory almost whispered, but they heard her. Luke pulled back from Lorelai and they looked at her and Dean. "What happened to him?"

"A truck hit his car." Luke hesitated before he could answer her. "He was on his way to New York. They said it happened for a split second and now Jess is..."

"No!" Rory's voice cracked. "No! No! No!" She shook her head furiously, refusing to believe it.

"Honey?" Lorelai rushed to her, but Rory pulled back.

"No!"

"Rory, please calm down?" Dean also tried to touch her, but she stepped away from him. "Rory!"

"I pushed him away! I... I pushed him away!" Her knees hit the cold ground. "This isn't happening! This isn't happening!"

"Rory?" Luke placed his hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him. "He's alive, Rory." He threw a brief look at Lorelai and then back at Rory. "I'm going to see him. Do you want to come with me?"

"That's ridiculous!" Dean murmured, but Rory acted as if she hadn't heard him. She got off the ground and took a deep breath. His look fell on Luke and she nodded barely noticeable.

"I'll come with you."


	6. Chapter 6 Why are you here, Rory?

_**A/N: My new Literati fic takes place after Season 4 episode **__**12 - A Family Matter**__**. But I changed few things. Jess came back in Stars Hollow after year of absence. He and Rory met again in the night when he spent in his car before his uncle diner. In my fic Lorelai is single and Rory just started her first year in the college. What would happen if they actually had a chance to fix things between them? What choices Rory would make if Jess was a factor in her life? What if Jess hadn't ran? Read and you'll see.**_

_**As a special note I would add – my first language is not English. Please excuse my grammar here and there. Review if you like and please – enjoy the story. I really hope my Literati muse came back. I missed writing for these two.**_

_**Yours,**_

_**ArinnaVal**_

* * *

_**Chapter 6 Why are you here, Rory?  
**_

Rory hated hospitals. They were so white... so damn clean. And the smell? Oh, Gosh! She hated that smell and left Luke to ask for the number of Jess' room. Her eyes focused over the giant plant at the end of the corridor. She tried not to think about what was about to happen few minutes later. Her heart pounded in her chest and she hated herself for being such coward. Luke nudged her gently and grasped her forearm. Rory looked up at him and faked a smile.

"Are you okay?" Luke asked her, obviously didn't buy it. "You can wait for me here if you want to? I won't be long and you did enough already. You shouldn't have come here, Rory."

"Nah, I'm okay." Her smile disappeared in the same second. "I want to see him."

"But you're not..." Luke released her arm and fixed his hat nervously. "I mean, you're not from his family. You don't owe him anything. And the way he left you..."

"I'm not his girlfriend anymore and I'm not from his family, but I still want to see him, Luke." Rory let out a sigh. "What happened between us... Jess and I... at the end... wasn't good." She stammered and looked down at her boots. "But I loved him."

"Your mother doesn't think the same."

"My mother never liked him, you know it." Rory shoved her left hand in her pocket and looked up at Luke again. *But my mom is not here and I'm still here. I didn't go all this way for nothing.* She fixed her hair behind her ears. "I _really _want to see him."

Luke sighed and just shook his head. His eyes narrowed for a second and he waved his hand. Rory followed him to the elevator and held her breath for a moment when he pushed the button for Jess' floor. He never looked at her and Rory was thankful right now. She stared at his back, trying to calm down a little. Why the hell she was so stubborn to see Jess? Luke was right. She wasn't anything to him. She was no one in his life right now. She even has a life of her own. Then why she wanted to see him so bad? What was the reason pulling her to him so strong? Rory shook her head and took a deep breath when the doors of the elevator opened before her.

"They said his room is by the end of the corridor." Luke murmured and Rory followed him. "They also told me he was injured badly...and has brain concussion. He got luck."

"Yes, Luke. I know that." Rory coughed. "You told me that in the car, remember?"

"I did? Oh yeah, I did." He sighed and stopped right in front Jess' door. "So, we're here."

"Oh yeah, we're here." Rory looked at him hesitantly. "Now we have to walk in."

"Yeah, we have to." Luke agreed, but didn't even reach to the door. "I'm not sure I want to see him like this, Rory." He said after a minute of silence. "I mean, you know."

"He wouldn't do it for you." Rory sighed.

"Yeah."

"He'd rather run away."

"Uh-huh."

"And just leave you here?"

"Well."

"Oh, c'mon Luke! I was just... talking bullshit." Rory scoffed. "I'm trying to release the pressure here. Jess would never leave you like this."

"This is Jess we're talking about here. He's always running, Rory." Luke frowned.

"Okay, this is ridiculous!" Rory frowned and pushed the door open. "Oh my..!" She stopped in her way to Jess' bed. Her eyes widened and her breathing changed. She had never seen Jess like this. He looked so helpless in that bed. So.. small, wrapped in all these bandages. He hand covered her mouth. "What the hell happened to you, Jess?" She barely whispered and her feet were like glued to the floor.

"I told you, you don't have to be here Rory." Luke had walked right after her. His voice was barely a whisper and Rory was sure he was shocked from the view as well. "You can go home now. I can catch a cab and..."

"Just shut up, Luke! Okay?" Rory hissed and walked to Jess' bed. She dragged a chair close to his left side and carefully took his hand. "They said he's going to be alright, right?"

"Yeah, yeah." Luke walked to Jess' bed as well and sat at his other side. "His doctor told me he's going to be okay. I mean... if they hadn't pulled him out of his car on time... and... there was an explosion... and, yeah. He's going to be okay, Rory."

"Was it his fault?" Rory let out a tired sigh and looked at Luke. "The car crash?"

"No, it wasn't." Luke chuckled bitterly. "You would've thought it was his fault giving his background. However, it wasn't. Not this time."

"And what happened, Luke?"

"Another car hit his one and pulled him out of the way. Jess lost control and..." Luke coughed. "His car stopped at the nearest tree. Then the fire started and... thanks to few good people, who pulled him of the car he's alive now."

"Right." Rory just nodded. She didn't feel like talking now. Her eyes were like glued to Jess' bruised face. She was tempted to slid her hand over it, but Luke was here. And like he said - she was nothing to Jess. She wasn't even from his family.

"Why are you here, Rory?" His question surprised her, but she didn't look at him. "Rory?"

"I told you, I needed to see him." She spoke quietly."I had to."

"But why?" Luke insisted. "Jess gave you nothing but pain when he left you the last year. Yeah, your mom told me. I know."

"I loved him." Rory answered simply.

"But not now! You have your life now. You have your study... you're in a college! You just put your life in order."

"And he came back to ruin it?" She scoffed quietly. "Is that what you're saying? Damn, Luke! I thought he's your nephew and you love him! Why are you talking like this?"

"Is not what I meant!" Luke frowned. "I'm just trying to understand."

"To understand what? What do you need to understand?"

"Why are you here?"

Rory just kept the silence. It was pointless to even try to explain everything to Luke now. He wouldn't understand. No one could. She finally gave up on temptation and touched Jess' face. The tips of her fingers barely touched him, but it was enough for her. It was enough to feel him still warm and to see him breathing. That's why she came here. When he had left an year ago, Jess had stole something from her. Something, she had never gotten it back.

Luckily Luke didn't ask her more. They just sat there in silence. Rory stared at Jess' face and holding his hand carefully. Luke was just sitting there quietly and Rory was thankful for that. Maybe an hour passed like this and Rory finally spoke.

"I needed to remember." She said quietly, surprising even herself.

"You needed what?" Luke asked her. "What are you talking about?"

"It's why I'm here now."

"Oh?" He sounded completely confused. "You needed to remember what, Rory?"

"My heart." She answered few minutes later. "I needed to remember my heart."


	7. Chapter 7 Go back home, Rory

_**A/N: My new Literati fic takes place after Season 4 episode **__**12 - A Family Matter**__**. But I changed few things. Jess came back in Stars Hollow after year of absence. He and Rory met again in the night when he spent in his car before his uncle diner. In my fic Lorelai is single and Rory just started her first year in the college. What would happen if they actually had a chance to fix things between them? What choices Rory would make if Jess was a factor in her life? What if Jess hadn't ran? Read and you'll see.**_

_**As a special note I would add – my first language is not English. Please excuse my grammar here and there. Review if you like and please – enjoy the story. I really hope my Literati muse came back. I missed writing for these two.**_

_**Yours,**_

_**ArinnaVal**_

* * *

_**Chapter 7 Go back home, Rory  
**_

A week passed. Then another one.

He couldn't wake up.

The doctors told her that everything is fine. They assured her that there is no problem and Jess had to wake up any moment now. However, he couldn't. Rory was spending her every free moment there. She was beside his bed. She skipped classes and her mother was getting nervous about it. Lorelai thought that Yale is better than wasting her time with someone who had hurt her so much. Rory could understand that, but somehow that didn't matter right now. Nothing mattered when Jess was like this. Even Luke gave up hope already. He hardly even visited Jess. He told Rory that he couldn't see Jess like this. Rory could understand that too, but the thing she couldn't understand was why everybody thought that their life was better without Jess on it. Maybe she was somehow a masochist to think like that. Maybe it was her love, buried deep in her heart. Maybe she just didn't want to give up. She wasn't a quitter. Never was. Never would be. Lorelai had taught her well. She would never give up hope; even if that means that she was the last one standing.

It was the beginning of the second week and Rory had stopped by to visit Jess again. It was her first job after classes. However, this time she wasn't alone. She had just opened a book to read to Jess. It was Ayn Rand. She knew how much Jess hated that author and maybe if he could hear her, that could provoke him to wake up. Rory was ready to use everything to make him react somehow. Just then, the door opened and she heard her mother.

"Life goes on even without Jess, Rory!" Lorelai spoke quietly.

"I can't leave him" Rory closed the book with annoyance.

"Why?"

"Because he means something to me."

"He hurt you."

"He did."

"Then why? I don't understand."

"Because. He. Means. Something. To. Me." Rory repeated every word slowly.

"I heard that."

"Then don't ask more, please?"

"You're…"

"You know… mom." Rory interrupted her. "I know what you think, but I really need to do this."

"You what?"

"I need…"

"It's what I've heard. Need?"

"Yeah."

"Rory…" Lorelai sighed and looked at her daughter as if she had lost her mind. "He wouldn't do that for you."

"How would you know?"

"Hello? Jess Mariano." Lorelai scoffed. "The boy who broke your heart."

"I didn't love him that much." Rory looked away.

"It made you miserable for a little over an year."

"I wasn't…"

"Please remember I'm your mother and I know what you're thinking, Rory."

"Gee! Since when you can read minds?"

"That's a mother's thing." Lorelai rolled her eyes. "An inhuman power!"

"Mom…" Rory just shook her head. "You know I wasn't that bad."

"You cut your hair." Lorelai dragged a chair close to Rory.

"I wanted a change." Rory ran her fingers through her short hair.

"You felt depressed."

"I wasn't."

"You cried on Dean's wedding!"

"Who-who told you?" Rory's eyes widen.

"Hey, mind reader over here!" Lorelai pointed to herself.

"Can you please be serious for once?" Her daughter frowned.

"Not a chance."

Rory just sighed and looked back at Jess. The scars on his face were barely noticeable now. His doctors had reassured her that they would be gone soon. Rory couldn't help, but to slide her palm over a side of his face. He was sleeping. Right now, no one knew what was wrong with him.

"I have to stay here, mom."

"I thought you have your reasons to come and visit him after the crash, but honey… It's been a week and you aren't even his girlfriend."

"I've been told." Rory hissed and looked back at her mother. "Can you please go now?"

"This have to stop, Rory." Lorelai touched her daughter's shoulder. "You've been only torturing yourself."

"Please, go." Rory said softly, but basically because she could understand her mother's reasons. However, she wouldn't accept them. She wanted to stay and nothing could change her mind.

"Rory…"

"He told me he loved me."

"What?" Lorelai looked absolutely amused.

"Right before the crash and then we kissed."

"Who kissed who?" Lorelai frowned.

"We both kissed each other." Rory furrowed her brow. "Whoa! Talk about déjà vu, huh? Haven't we talked about this before?"

"I'm asking you right now."

"I'm going to stay!"

"You have your own life, Rory." Lorelai lowered her voice. "Don't ruin it over someone who doesn't deserve you! I know you think you love him, honey… but Jess is no good for you. He brings the trouble wherever he goes. Look what he did to you!"

"Maybe I want that trouble in my life!" Rory said all of a sudden.

"What?"

"Maybe I missed that trouble all the time. You know what mom, after he left I felt empty." She placed her hand over her heart. "I felt like he stole this from me. He stole my heart and I've never gotten it back. You know how it feels? It hurt! It hurts so bad that's almost physical! So I put the smiley mask on my face. I put it on and moved on to the next period of my life. However, my heart wasn't there. He had taken it with him."

"Sweets…" Lorelai reached out and hugged her. Rory just lay her head on her mother's shoulder, kept talking.

"I want my heart back on its place, mom. I want _him_ back!" She sobbed lightly, finally dropping her mask down. "I want him back! Back!"

"Shh-shh…" Lorelai just rubbed Rory's back and looked at the sleeping Jess. Her forehead crooked into a frown. She knew about Rory's silent suffering, but she didn't know it was that strong. "If this is really what you want…"

"I don't want to suffer anymore." Rory said after sometime and pulled back. "I don't want to live in a lie. I want to be me."

"But you have to make sure he feels the same, right?"

"He told me he loved me!"

"And then ran away… again." Lorelai shrugged. "Or at least he tried."

"Mom!"

"Don't yell at me! We're in a hospital!"

"What do you want me to do then?" Rory lowered her voice. "Just…"

"…go home, Rory…" Jess' voice surprised her to the point she almost fell off the chair.

"Jess!" She got off her place quickly and placed her hand over his forehead. "You're awake?"

"Ror…" He coughed when he tried to talk again and she reached out for a small glass of water, left on his nightstand.

"Here." Rory helped him to drink carefully and then looked at him. Her face was transparent. She didn't even bother to hide her true feelings. "Don't worry, Jess… I'm gonna call your doctors now."

"Go… home…" He said quietly instead, but she just shook her head.

"No!"


	8. Chapter 8 Fighting for his heart

_**A/N: My new Literati fic takes place after Season 4 episode **__**12 - A Family Matter**__**. But I changed few things. Jess came back in Stars Hollow after year of absence. He and Rory met again in the night when he spent in his car before his uncle diner. In my fic Lorelai is single and Rory just started her first year in the college. What would happen if they actually had a chance to fix things between them? What choices Rory would make if Jess was a factor in her life? What if Jess hadn't ran? Read and you'll see.**_

_**As a special note I would add – my first language is not English. Please excuse my grammar here and there. Review if you like and please – enjoy the story. I really hope my Literati muse came back. I missed writing for these two.**_

_**Yours,**_

_**ArinnaVal**_

* * *

**_Chapter 8 Fighting for his heart_**

No one noticed when Lorelai left the room quietly. Rory and Jess just stared at each other, both with stern faces. The atmosphere in the room was thick and full of tension. Rory was still sitting close to Jess and her hand was still holding his. He hadn't noticed that apparently, because he didn't pull back. Rory was sure he would in otherwise.

"Go back to your fancy school and just forget about me, okay?" He coughed. His throat felt dry. Rory got off her chair and held his head, helping him to drink from the glass of water.

"You obviously can't live without me, I get it." She muttered when she put the empty glass back on its place.

"What?" Jess frowned.

"I'm just so irresistible for you." She sighed theatrically. "But Jess, you should've told me you can't live without me instead of crashing your car."

"What the-", his face darkened even more.

"It's okay." Rory carefully pet his hair.

"I just told you to go away!"

"I'll be back." She nodded and leaned to kiss his forehead as if she hadn't heard him at all.

"Jess!" Luke's voice interrupted them, but Rory grinned when she turned around to see him standing by the door. "Lorelai told me you're awake!"

"He is!" Rory grinned even more and looked back at Jess. "I'll see you soon, Dodger."

"But-but…" Jess stammered.

"Take care of him okay?" She tapped Luke's shoulder on her way out of the room. Luke was only able to nod.

That day looked really good, she thought on her way out of the hospital. Rory looked up at the sky and thought the Sun was never looked brighter than now. She got into her car with a smile on her face and drove off to her home, knowing her mother was already there.

Rory was mistaken though. Lorelai wasn't at home. The house was empty and quiet. Rory rubbed the back of her neck and got into her room, closing the door behind her back. The bed looked tempting, but she looked at the books over her desk and thought a little studying would be nice. She's been neglecting her classes since the car crash. Now she had to do some work.

Lane stopped by to see her later that day. She wanted to know how Jess was. Rory was surprised, but invited her in. A small escape from the study was well welcomed.

"So, how's the things?" Lane folded her legs on the big couch in the living room. Rory sat on the armchair opposite her and just shrugged. Lane frowned. "What is that supposed to mean, Gilmore?"

"You want to eat something?" Rory offered her a fake smile.

"Nah, thanks. My roommates cooked me really nice dinner. I went out for a walk only because it was too noisy there. You know how boys are." Lane babbled.

"Uh… No?"

Lane waved her hand and leaned her head back on the couch. "I met your mom and she told me you're back home. She was chatting with Caesar right before the Luke's place, telling him that his pancakes don't work for her." Lane shook her head. "Anyways…"

"So, Jess came by to see me before the crash." Rory said all of a sudden.

"I've been here 20 minutes, and you drop this now?" Lane's eyes widened.

"He just showed up that night."

"Why? What did he say?"

"Well –"

"Wait!" Lane took a pose as if she's going to listen to Rory really carefully then sighed. "Go."

"My mom and I were on our way to the burgers and he just showed up out of nowhere."

"What did he want?"

"Nothing… he just… he said he loves me and-" Rory looked down at her clasped hands.

"Oh, my God!" Lane squealed. "What did you say?"

"I said - I don't know. It was so weird. He was just... Jess. I mean, he shows up out of no where, telling me this. It was awful."

"It doesn't sound awful."

"What are you talking about?" Rory looked up at Lane. "Jess bailed on me twice."

"I know, but how incredibly romantic to have this guy show up out of the blue and tells you he loves you." Lane sighed with dreamy eyes. "Maybe the next time he's gonna ask from you is to sail away with him."

Rory frowned. "Sail away? What are you talking about? When I first met Jess, I thought, _"What could be better than this? He's smart, good taste in books and music, so cute."_ But Jess is great one minute and then the next - you know, as far as I know, I could have said yes, packed my bag, and by the time I got to the car, he would have changed his mind… which he did…. And then he had the car crash! Everything he's doing from then on is to just push me away!" Rory bit her trembling lower lip. "I love that idiot and I know… I know it's a mistake. A huge one!"

"It's part of why he's cute. He's unpredictable." A small smirk danced onto Lane's lips.

"I guess. You know, when I was with Dean, I always knew that no matter what happened, he would be there."

"Dean was very dependable." Lane nodded.

"It was more than that. He's - well, he was so... um, I was safe, and he was so nice to me."

"He really loved you… and he was also boring." Lane trailed off.

"I think I really blew it there, you know? I didn't appreciate it, but…" Rory's voice trembled again. "Jess came into my life and took every piece of my heart. I wish I could control my feelings for him, but…"

"Every girl has to fall for a bad boy. It's the rule." Lane put a side of her head in her hand. "But you fell for Jess really hard and you've never gotten your heart back… maybe it's time to listen to it. If you want him then…"

"… I have to fight with that stubborn ass, I know." Rory sighed.

She went back to studying and Lane eventually fell asleep on the couch. Rory threw a blanket over her friend and went back to her study. She fell asleep eventually, with her head on the books instead of the fluffy pillow. Her neck hurt when she woke up, but she simply rubbed it and put her books in the small back she had for the classes.

When she walked out her room, Lane was gone and her mother also. She had left her a note on the fridge, telling her something about some horses. Rory laughed and got out of the house, leaving a message on Luke's cell that she's going to visit Jess later.

Rory got into her car and drove off to Yale. When she finally got there, she was too sleepy to even walk. She just went in and fell on her bed there, leaving a message on Lorelai's voicemail. "_Mom, it's me, I left you a message at home, too. I love that you got horses. As far as that pony ride when I was a kid, you were forgetting one little tidbit there. That pony did not lie down. He died, okay? He died. And then the owner dragged him away by the back legs. Every time I use glue, I think of him. But I'll watch you ride, how's that? Call me back, bye.__" _

She dropped the phone onto the nightstand and closed her eyes, finally trying to get some sleep.

"What are you doing here?" Lane's voice made her growl and she opened her eyes again.

"I live here and I thought I could _finally_ get some sleep."

"But you have game theory class in fifteen minutes." Lane knew her schedule surprisingly well.

"I just thought I would lie down and rest for a while." Rory yawned. "And what are you doing here? Are you following me?"

Lane didn't answer directly. "I knew it. You were up too late last night. I know I should have told you "lights out."

"I had to finish my paper." Rory frowned. "I did that and I got only few hours of sleep… well, maybe only two."

"Your brain needs sleep."

"It can sleep when I finish my paper."

"And then there'll be another paper… or Jess…"

"Mom-" Rory rolled her eyes.

"You know what I mean." Lane shook her head. "And by the way, your mom told me where to find you. She wanted to make sure you're alright… and I had a day off."

"You look out for me." Rory grinned.

"It's what I do. Okay, go lay down."

"Yes, ma'am." Rory yawned again, but managed to giggle. "And I'm lying. Now only need some sleep."

"And stay off drugs." Lane joked and stormed off the room, laughing.

Just as she was about to fall asleep, a weird smell made her to open her eyes again. "Whoa, what's that smell?" She yelled and her other roommate, Tanna peeked out the other open door.

"It's the smoke from my soldering iron. I love it. I love burning things. I love the hot tip of my soldering iron as it liquefies metal and singes the wires –"

"Honey, how long you been doing that?" Rory rolled her eyes, sitting on the bed and kissing her sleep bye-bye.

Tanna checked her watch. "Three hours."

Rory got off her bed and removed the iron from Tanna's hand. "Take a break, okay?" Tanna just nodded and Rory dropped the iron onto her desk, before heading back to bed. "Now sleep…" She mumbled, but just then the door got slammed again and she jumped off her bed. "WHAT?"

She saw Paris walked in, followed by Jannet's grumpy face.

"Oh, good, you're all here, so we can clear this up." Paris started with her shrill voice. "I found this lying around, and it must belong to one of you because who else would have clothing here? I ask you." She holded up a shirt with the name Kleebold across the back. "Anyone? Anyone?"

"Paris." Jannet rolled her eyes, dropping on her own bed. "Oh hey, Rory."

Paris continued. "Anyone? You know, maybe I misspoke. It may not be a shirt. Anyone lose a car cover? Anyone? Anyone?"

Jannet grunted out. "Knock it off."

"I'm just trying to find a nice way to tell you that your behemoth boyfriend is getting a little too comfortable around here. And I speak for everyone." Paris didn't stop tho.

"Leave me out of this." Rory put a pillow over her face.

"Me too, please." Tanna shrugged.

"I just don't want to walk into our bathroom and find him sitting on the john shooting up steroids." Paris was furious.

"He does not take steroids." Jannet chimed in.

"You mean that unsightly girth is nature given? He must curse God nightly."

"Enough!" Jannet scoffed, but that didn't stop Paris.

"And the shirt—".

"He's big, Paris. She got it." Rory interrupted her. "Can you calm down now? Some people here are trying to sleep! The key word is… trying!"

"You're not supporting me in this?" Paris looked at her friend with disbelief in her eyes. Rory couldn't blame her. She was always on her side, but right now and with all the problem she had, a scandal over a man's shirt was too much even for Rory's nerves.

"Just leave Jannet alone, okay? Tanna can have her experiments and you can all chill so I have a little sleep! I haven't slept in few days! But who's asking me how I feel? No one! You know what? I'm just gonna put the pillow over my head again and you just pretend I'm not here!" And Rory did just that.

"What's wrong with her?" Rory heard Paris asking and then the silence. "Hey, Gilmore!" She nudged her.

"I'm not here!"

"What's going on?" Rory heard a door closed, this time quietly and when she uncovered her face, she saw Paris standing in the room alone. "You're not the nice little girl we all know. Spill!"

"Jess came back."

"Jess as in…"

"The same." Rory nodded. "He had a car crash. I was there 24/7. He kissed me before that. Then I kissed him. He told me he loved me and I just… I don't know what to do."

"It looks like you know." Paris muttered under her nose.

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

"Hey, did you keep your notes from when you took Major English Poets? I kind of missed that class… because of… you know." Rory yawned again.

"I've got them somewhere." Paris nodded.

"Can I borrow them?"

"Sure."

"Great, 'cause that means I can skip a class this week." Rory closed her eyes, already thinking of taking care of Jess. "Buys me two hours."

"I taught Asher that phrase, "on the down low." He called it delightful." She heard Paris steps to the door.

"It's a cool phrase." Rory settled under the covers, already falling asleep. The last thing she heard was the sound of the closing door.

She slept the next few hours and woke up just in time for the last classes of day. Then she drove off straight to her home. On her way there, she saw Luke's car parked right before his place. He was helping Jess to get out of his car. Then he put him to sit on the wheelchair near by.

Rory just stopped the engine and got out her own car.


	9. Chapter 9 I won't give up

_**A/N: My new Literati fic takes place after Season 4 episode **__**12 - A Family Matter**__**. But I changed few things. Jess came back in Stars Hollow after year of absence. He and Rory met again in the night when he spent in his car before his uncle diner. In my fic Lorelai is single and Rory just started her first year in the college. What would happen if they actually had a chance to fix things between them? What choices Rory would make if Jess was a factor in her life? What if Jess hadn't ran? Read and you'll see.**_

_**As a special note I would add – my first language is not English. Please excuse my grammar here and there. Review if you like and please – enjoy the story. I really hope my Literati muse came back. I missed writing for these two.**_

_**Yours,**_

_**ArinnaVal**_

* * *

**_Chapter 9 I won't give up _**

Jess glared at her in the moment Rory walked into the room. He was lying in his own old bed and Luke was fixing his blanket. The view startled her, but she put a brave smile on her face and told herself that she wouldn't give up easily. That was Jess after all. He was the boy who had changed her life forever, even if it was hard for her to admit that. Even before herself.

Now he looked angry, angry to the world if Rory could read his eyes. And she was sure she could. She knew him better than anyone, just as he knew her better than any living person in this world. It was scary, but sometimes Rory thought that he could see her soul. She felt somewhat naked before him. It was so… uneasy feeling.

"Get out!" Jess hissed and Luke looked over his shoulder just to see Rory standing there.

"Oh, hello Rory!" He didn't look upset from Jess' s reaction towards her. "I was wondering when you're gonna visit us."

"Well, I didn't know you're gonna be home so soon." Rory closed the door behind her back.

"Rory!" Jess tried again, but she looked at Luke.

"What's wrong with his legs?"

"His doctor told me he needs time to recover completely." Luke turned his back to Jess and Rory could see the annoyed expression on Jess face. Jess didn't like to be treated as if he wasn't in the room. "He also needs some exercises."

"Cool! Can I help?"

"Hey!" Jess grabbed the book, lying on his nightstand and threw it at Luke, hitting his back.

"What?" Luke grunted out turning around to face his nephew. "You could've just called me!"

"If you didn't ignore me like I'm a fucking piece of furniture here I would have!" Jess scoffed.

"If I knew you would've said something good, I would've asked you!" Luke didn't give up and Rory was really impressed. Not everyone was able to be around Jess when he's angry.

"Bullshit!"

"Oh really?" Luke folded his arms on his chest. "What you were about to say?"

"Rory!" Jess pointed at her. "I don't want her here!"

"See? I was right!" Luke sighed. "Nothing good came out your mouth!"

"What the hell?" Jess tried to get off the bed, but now he wasn't able to do that. "Oh damn you all!" He simply cursed and glared at Rory again.

"What's wrong with him?" Rory asked once again, ignoring Jess's wish. They all knew she was about to stay. She was a Gilmore after all. Too stubborn even for him.

"Something happened with his legs after the crash." Luke answered her. "They said he's gonna need some time to walk again."

"Fucking liars!" Jess muttered.

"Who?" Rory looked at him.

"The doctors!" His eyes narrowed, but she could still see the pain in them. She knew him so damn well. His anger was just a self-defending mechanism. "I would never be able to walk again! They just told me what they think I want to hear."

"They could be right, Jess." Rory looked at Luke briefly and he simply nodded. She sat on the edge of Jess's bed. Jess kept looking at her with anger. "Maybe they are right and-"

"You're doing it as well!" His voice rose up. "I want the truth!"

"They told you the truth, you stubborn ass!" Rory frowned and rose up her voice as well. Luke used the moment to leave them alone and walked out the room. Nobody noticed that. "Why do you think the whole world is against you and everybody lies to you? Huh?"

"You don't know a thing about my world.. princess!" Jess looked away. His hands grasped the blanket helplessly.

"I'm not against you, Jess! Never was!"

"Oh yeah?" His eyes finally stopped on her and she shivered. "You are so sure about that?"

"I don't hate you!" Rory lowered her voice. "I wanted to hate you, but I couldn't. Something in me never let me hate you."

"You've said that before the crash! You've said I ruined your life and you're fucking right!" His eyes were piercing her. "I've ruined your life! I wish I shouldn't have… but you know what? I don't feel sorry about it! Now you know what idiot I can be! And forget what I told you before. I don't-"

"Shut up! Now!" Rory grabbed his arms. "I can't believe you like hurting yourself like this! This isn't you, Jess! Where is the boy I knew? He was ready to fight with the world and now? Where is he? What happened to you?"

"Life!" His voice didn't even tremble.

"Then you should change it!" She pulled back, releasing his arms. "I'm going to help you."

"Rory!"

"You're going to walk again and I don't want to hear a word against it!" Her voice was stern. "I'm going to help you do that and the doctors were right. You will walk again, Jess Mariano!"

"Why don't you go and get a life? I don't need your pity… Rory Gilmore!"

If she didn't know him better, she would've thought he wasn't worth it. However, Rory knew him and she knew why he was doing this and why he was pushing her away. Jess simply hated to be weak. It wasn't in his nature. He'd rather push people away than let them help him. Therefore, she simply sighed and lowered her voice.

"I won't run, Jess."

"I don't need you, Rory!"

"You need me more than you think." She hesitated, but rested her palm on a side of his face. "I'm going to be here for you."

"No." He tried to pull back, but Rory didn't let him.

"Yes. Please, let me?"

"No!"

"Fine." She got off his bed with a wide smile on her face. "I'm going to be here tomorrow. Just have to finish with my classes."

"I just told you…" Jess frowned.

"You just told me something you don't think!" Rory nodded. "So… I'm just going to not listening to your bullshit and going to help you instead."

"Whatever!" He crossed his arms on his chest, looking grumpy.

"Such a spirit!" Rory winks at him. "I'm going to see you soon, Dodger!"

She walked out the room before he could be able to say something else. Her smile faded and she allowed herself a moment of weakness. What if his doctors were wrong and Jess wasn't able to walk again? What if he stayed like this the rest of his life? Rory wasn't sure he was going to accept this. Not Jess. He would rather die than stay cripple. She winced with that thought. Rory sighed and looked at the closed door.

"I won't give up on you, Jess." She whispered. "Not this time."


End file.
